• Meg Tanner

Emotional Intelligence, why does it matter?

HTR does a lot of work on feelings. We fully believe feelings play a huge part in our behaviours (thoughts = feelings = behaviours)

The following is by Dr Marc Brackett who we really recommend googling.

Emotions leave us vulnerable, exposed, naked to the world. They make us do things we wish we hadn’t done. It’s no wonder our emotions scare us sometimes—they seem so out of our control. Too often we do our best to deny them or hide them—even from ourselves.

Our attitudes about them get passed along to our children, who learn by taking their cues from us, their parents and teachers—their role models.

Our kids receive the message loud and clear, so that before long, they too have learned to suppress even the most urgent messages from deep inside their beings. Just as we learned to do.

So, we deny ourselves—and one another—the permission to feel. We suck it up, squash it down, act out. We avoid the difficult conversation with our colleague; we explode at a loved one; and we helplessly go through an entire bag of cookies and have no idea why.

When we deny ourselves the permission to feel, a long list of unwanted outcomes ensues. We lose the ability to even identify what we’re feeling—it’s like, without noticing, we go a little numb inside.

When that happens, we’re unable to understand why we’re experiencing an emotion or what’s happening in our lives that’s causing it. Because of that we’re unable to name it, so we can’t express it either, in terms the people around us would understand. And when we can’t recognize, understand, or put into words what we feel, it’s impossible for us to do anything about it: to master our feelings—not to deny them but to accept them all, even embrace them—and learn to make our emotions work for us, not against us.

Teaching our children and teens and even ourselves Emotional Intelligence is imperative. We really recommend the book 'Permission to feel' by Dr Mark Brackett.

#emotions #growth

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