Press the pause button!!
This was one of the hardest things I had to quickly learn when I started parenting as a single foster carer who had never had children.
I was fully unaware of how stimulus-response would be such a never ending occurrence when parenting/fostering children or teenagers or how easily it can lead us to responses which are reactive, frustration led and unproductive🥴!!
Stephen Covey and Brene Brown have both spoken on this too and the use of the 'Pause Button'
Understanding the space and the pause button is in our parenting course for parents and foster carers in communities we work with in Africa.
How do we use this pause button, this space though? Well breathing I think is essential, there will be another blog just on breathing. But also being able to notice in ourselves when we are being reactive to our children/teens and being able to step back and draw a line.
We need to be able to control our emotions and speak and act out of a focused centre rather than reactive. The ability to do this and model this to our children is amazing, as they can then see and understand that one does not have to react and be impulsive 100% of the time.
We don't have to accept every argument invite that is given to us!!